The Best Kingdom Hearts Fanfic Ever!
by Final Hedgehog Kingdom
Summary: This is a parody/satire about all bad Kingdom Hearts stories that we have encountered.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own the Kingdom Hearts characters.

**The Best Kingdom Hearts Fanfic Ever!**

Sora and Roxas and Axel and Riku went to fight Xemnas. Then Xemnas said: "I kill you". Then he attacked Riku. Sora said "No". Roxas used his keyblade to slash off Xemnas's arm. "Ouch!" he said.

Axel used Fire spell on Xemnas. Xemnas screamed and attacked Roxas, but Axel jumped on the way. In the midair he obviously had time to say "Remember me, Roxas." Then he died. (tragic isn't it?) Roxas yelled "NOOOO!" like Luke Skywalker when he realized that Darth Vader was his father.

Roxas and Sora fused together to form an ultimate keyblade called the… Ultimate Keyblade! They attacked Xemnas a combo counting their attacks: "1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9…" then they lost the count, because they never went to school after their fifteens. Then they cast Blizzard on Xemnas, then Fire, and Thunder, Cure (oops!), Gravity,etc.

Then Sora and Roxas remembered that Xemnas was immune to all spells.

"Oh ++++ and #$% this XXXX!" Sora swore just like he does in the games (wait…). He was so ashamed that he killed himself, not giving a damn about Kairi waiting for him. Roxas, too was just in his character as he decided to defect for his own advantage.

"I'll be back under your commands, o master," he said, bowing his head humbly, and started pulling on his old Organization cloak with his very own name tag in it.

Demyx and Zexion appeared out of nowhere to say something random which the audience is supposed to interpret as a joke. "Guess what: Coconut milk!" (now you're supposed to laugh, because it was funny).

Xemnas said, "Now I go home," and he went. Roxas went home too and lived happily ever after. And I'm not even gonna tell what happened to Riku, because I forgot him… I mean, Riku went home too!

* * *

THE END

* * *

Author's Note: This one story paraphrased all the bad KH- fics on this site. However, unlike any other bad fic, this was not miscategorized as Action/Adventure/Fantasy/Romance, or anything else but Humor/Parody. Also this is done bad on purpose. If you thought this was funny, good. But if you really think this was actually good, then… (I censored my own sentence, for it may be offensive to some people).


	2. Chapter 2

Author's Note: This chapter is not done bad on purpose like the first one, but continues mocking Kingdom Hearts fics that I find bad.

**Organization's Visit to the World of Fanfiction**

The whole Organization had gathered in the library where Xemnas had summoned them. All were given their own computers, which they used to find good fan fics. Xemnas was stressful and needed a good read to relieve his inner pain, so he had ordered his subordinates to find him one.

"Let's see," Axel read aloud. "_Mary and Sue's Revolutionary Tale of Overthrowing All Other Kingdom Hearts Characters_. This sounds promising!"

"How 'bout this one?" Demyx broke in. "_Sora's Adventures in the OOC Land"._

"You idiots!" Xemnas roared. "I want a good read, not a torture to my eyes and soul, and hea… Well, eyes and soul."

"What kind of story is good?" Roxas asked.

"I don't want stories in which I'm called 'Mansex, because it's not even a real word."

Demyx and Axel tried to avoid cracking up, and turned their laughs into coughs. Xemnas ignored them and continued:

"The idea needs to be unique. No bad grammar or unoriginal OCs. The story must NOT be yaoi (especially if it's about us). And I don't want High School stories, because I have a life. Now, start looking!"

* * *

The twelve underlings of the leader started searching for something that did not have anything that Xemnas had just listed. After few hours someone yelled:

"Yes, I finally found one without bad grammar or clichés in originality… Oh crap, it's yaoi!"

The hopeless search continued.

"Hey, I found one with a script format. Wanna come act it out?" Zexion mumbled, but got only angry glares from the others. Meanwhile Larxene peeked if Axel had found something.

"This is good," Axel admitted, his eyes concentrated deeply to the text on the screen. "Only the author doesn't know how to make proper paragraphs so it's painful to read."

"Oh God! You have square eyes!" Larxene exclaimed, backing off in shock.

* * *

Finally it was midnight and the library closed. Nobody had succeeded in finding any good stories. So, they groveled on their master's feet, pegging for apology.

"Stop that, you pathetic losers!" The leader shouted, making everyone get a hold of themselves. "I knew it was an impossible task, but now at least you all have learned something from those bad stories that you read".

"You're right," Roxas said. "I learned never to look Axel the same way again."

After that he got as far away from the redhead as possible.

Marluxia spoke next:

"I learned that everyone out there thinks that I'm gay just because I have pink hair, and I happen to like flowers. So, now I'll stop sniffing roses and dye my hair black."

"Don't," Zexion warned. "They'll immediately label you 'emo' in all their stories. That's what happened to me." After that he went to sulk in a corner.

"That's nothing," Larxene broke in. "Some of them had me paired up with Roxas!"

"What's wrong with me?" the blonde asked sorrowfully.

"Nothing's wrong with you, my man," Axel said coming closer to his friend.

"Back off!" Roxas ordered.

* * *

**A/N: I just want to make it clear that even though I'm mocking bad stories, I'm not saying that my own stories are masterpieces, or anything. I'm not really against High School-stories, and yaoi pairings are understandable since most of FF-writers are females.**

**PS. I'm sorry if I offended you. But if you liked it, it'd be nice! Have a good day!**


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